Introducing Flat Earth Travel Insurance
Because falling off the edge of the world shouldn’t leave you financially exposed.
For centuries, explorers, theorists, and bold truth-seekers have wondered what lies beyond the horizon. Today, we have an answer—and a policy.
This April 1st, we’re proud to unveil a revolutionary insurance product that the mainstream insurance industry has refused to acknowledge for far too long:
Flat Earth Travel Insurance!
A policy created exclusively for travelers who believe the Earth is flat—and who plan to explore every glorious, uncurved inch of it.
Because whether you’re circumnavigating Antarctica’s fabled ice wall or preparing for a perilous journey toward the planet’s mysterious edge, one thing is clear: you deserve protection.
Why Flat Earth Travelers Need Special Insurance
The world is a dangerous place—especially when you believe it ends somewhere just past New Zealand.
While traditional travel insurance policies focus on lost luggage or flight delays, our plan addresses far more pressing concerns, including:
- Falling off the edge of the Earth and into the void
- Rescue from rogue sea turtles supporting the Earth’s underside
- Gravity loss and spontaneous anti-floating episodes
- UFO detainment while crossing restricted zones
- Disorientation after exposure to round-Earth propaganda
With traditional providers, these claims would be denied. With us? You’re covered.
What’s Included in the Policy
Edge-of-the-World Rescue Coverage
Accidentally fall off the edge of the planet? Our emergency response team is equipped with anti-void gear, retractable tethers, and a state-of-the-art “belief stabilizer” to bring you back.
UFO Encounter Clause
Explorers frequently report strange sightings and occasional detainments by unknown flying objects. We’ll ensure you’re returned to Earth (flat or otherwise) with minimal probing.
Lost Gravity Compensation
If gravity unexpectedly stops working while you’re near the outer edge, you may find yourself floating into the unknown. That’s why we offer anti-levitation support services and an optional zero-gravity pension payout.
Cosmic Sea Turtle Collision Protection
In rare cases, travelers navigating the underside of the Earth have reported impacts with the ancient cosmic turtle shell. Claims are handled swiftly by our reptilian legal team.
Round-Earth Propaganda Protection
Should you encounter government-sanctioned “globular theories,” we provide mental clarity counseling and emotional recovery sessions to help you re-establish your beliefs.
What Our (Fake) Policyholders Are Saying:
“I fell off the edge in 2023. This policy brought me back. Literally.”
— Mason F., Explorer, ConspiracyFest Speaker
“A NASA drone tried to erase my memory. My Flat Earth policy covered the reprogramming.”
— Layla W., Truth Seeker, TikTok Theorist
“My friend laughed at me. Then I showed them my insurance card. Now we both have coverage.”
— Chris D., Cartographer of the Uncurved
How to Get Your Coverage
Signing up for Flat Earth Travel Insurance takes less than a minute.
Simply fill out our application form with these crucial details:
- Your name and expedition title
- Your estimated coordinates on the disc
- Your flat-Earth theory of choice (turtle-based, dome-based, map-based, YouTube-based)
- Preferred rescue method (grappling hook, drone, teleportation)
After submitting, you’ll receive a personalized policy certificate you can download, share on social media, or present proudly at your next flat Earth meetup.
Final Word from Our CEO
“For years, flat-Earth travelers have gone unprotected. That ends today.
If you’re going off the edge—we’ve got your back.”
— Max Coupland, CEO Of Insuranceopedia
Happy April Fools’ Day from Insuranceopedia
From conspiracy coverage to cringe-post protection, our satirical insurance campaigns are designed to entertain, start conversations, and remind you that insurance (and life) doesn’t have to be boring.
